I sit here tonight… already for bed. I have taken my shower and readied my things for tomorrow. My clothes are clean and laid ready for me to dress into in the morning. I have our meals planned for tomorrow. I have ended my evening making sure everything is in order… my thoughts then drifted to our two precious children that don’t even know they are going to be living with us. What is their tomorrow like? Are they having to say good-bye to their parents as I type this? There is a reason they are being orphaned and putting up for adoption. Are they grieving? Are their hearts crying out to God because they don’t understand? Do they have someone to hold them? Do they have clean clothes to put on tomorrow? Do they have food to eat? I just went to UTube to look for a video … I do that from time to time because I don’t have a picture of our children yet, though my heart knows they are out there. I look for little faces and eyes that remind me of the little ones to come yet to our home… I found one video that touched my heart that was produced by the agency that we are using, WACAP - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c7VV_xOqnv0 in it the video talks about there being over 100 million orphans in the world... the little faces... so precious...
God has been revealing to me the painful truth about my life… I don’t think much about grabbing dinner at Taco Bell or picking up things at the store…simple things that satisfy a desire on a whim…I wonder...where did He want that money to go?
In our daily lives...I am good to remind our kids to tell Jesus thank you for our food… but do I tell the Lord ‘thank you’ for the amazing life He has lavished upon us?
I heard about another website from someone at church this last Sunday…
The average American Salary is $60,000 ... that makes them in the TOP 0.59% richest people in the world!
$8 could buy 15 organic apples OR 25 fruit trees for farmers in Honduras to grow and sell fruit at their local market.$30 could buy an ER DVD Boxset OR a First Aid kit for a village in Haiti.$73 could buy a new mobile phone OR a new mobile health clinic to care for AIDS orphans in Uganda.$2400 could buy a second generation High Definition TV OR schooling for an entire generation of school children in an Angolan village.
God is working on our hearts cleansing us, helping us see how He wants His money spent. Helping us to envision faces that match statistics ...instead of simply changing the channel so I don’t have to see the pain in people’s eyes from those commercials that are pleading for help… It hurts to feel their pain… my main way of dealing with that was to look away and pretend they didn’t exist… God is convicting my heart that they are real people, real children who need love and the best way to show them Christ’s love is to feed, cloth and help them to help themselves…my thoughts... am I listening? When I hear… what is my response?
I heard another unsettling thought… the only thing bigger than our desire to consume (get things, buy stuff etc.) is our ability to justify our spending (why we can/should/need/deserve it).
I am so thankful that Jesus didn’t look away and pretend our need for a savior wasn’t real. I am so thankful that He took His love for me (and you) all the way to the cross. He died. In my place. Taking the punishment for the sins He didn’t commit, the ones I did, the ones I am ashamed to share. He loved me despite of my choices and is still loving me. I am so thankful He didn't stay dead. After 3 days in that cold grave, He rose again, just like He said He would. He showed Himself real to those who knew Him and those who didn't want to acknowledge that they did. He was on the earth for 40 days... making sure there would be no doubt... there would be lots of witnesses to this real, true event. Making sure we were cared for in our greatest need; made an eternal home for us.
I long to love our children that are not in our home yet. I can’t wait to kiss them and hear them giggle. I can’t wait to remind them that living with us was not God’s plan B for their lives, but all the while God knew their names and each hair on their heads and when they were meant to live with us. The Lord loves them so.
Please join me in prayer tonight for our kids in Ethiopia that the Holy Spirit would bless them and help them during this difficult time of loss and grief. That He would remind them they are loved, special and not forgotten. That they would have food, clothes and what they need.
It is so hard to wait to hold them. Perhaps the Lord has this waiting time for us to be able to focus on Him more clearly before they come home to their home here.
I know there is a lot of growing ahead for us. I am thankful we are not alone.
(I was reading in John ... chapter 16 today… I am so thankful for God’s promises and perfect plan.
I am so thankful that He didn’t leave us orphans when He went to Heaven to prepare a place for us, He sent us His Holy Spirit. His spirit of truth that helps us know Him, understand His words in the Bible and helps us share them with others.)
Thank you for your prayers and support on this journey….